My superhero wore a cape

Floating thoughts on Daddy's going away anniversary

My superhero wore a cape, but I only noticed it today while browsing through his pictures. There he is, my Daddy, lounging casually in nightwear chatting with my Kaka and Ajjee. There is his cape, a simple gamchha nonchalantly tied around his neck. We are in my Kaka’s home in Panjim and Daddy is waiting his turn to bathe, before he dashes off for the day visiting relatives who wait all year for his medical advise, patient ear and his smile.

My superhero wore a special smile. Contagious, genuine and touching everyone in the room, no matter their status or background. With that smile, he could blend in and stand out, as needed. Here he is, veshti-clad and posing with my maternal grandparents, my mama and me. Look at how our faces are lit up! Its Diwali time and we are all gathered in my grandparents’ home in Bangalore. Daddy is the funny guy and Ma is probably behind the camera. He has probably just cracked a joke. I am surrounded by light and love.

My superhero wore his love on his sleeve. Unconditional and fierce, his love for me was a tempered inferno, coming through as unrestrained praise and gentle censure and powering me with lifelong confidence. There we are, bonded tightly right from the start. He left us twenty-three years ago on this day, but our bond remains. Just today, just when I really needed a confidence boost at work, I felt him walk beside me whispering in my ear, “You are loved. You are worth it. You are perfect.” If you have been loved like that, like you were the most precious being in the universe, you will know that love can persist beyond life itself.

My superhero wore a badge of hard work and persistence. He never gave up on what he began, and was stoic to a fault while dealing with failures. A grim cancer diagnosis that would have set most people back spurred him to teach and write with renewed gusto. Here he is, doing what he loved most, interacting with his students between chemo cycles. And that is him with the then Governor of Uttar Pradesh Vishnukanth Shastriji, at the launch event of his autobiography. Penning this delightful account of his life in his terminal months allowed Daddy to connect with countless friends and family members, giving special meaning to his last months alive.

My superhero wore grace, poise and his trademark smile in his last days with us. He ebbed away gently, confident that all that love, bonding, and his ethic of hard work would sustain me through a lifetime without him. And it has. For that and everything else, Daddy, thank you!