I loved reading this. I wonder if body shame never leaves/ or is always entering us and we have to be constantly (and exhaustingly) vigilant about evicting it. I’m hopeful the next generation of women finally kick it out of the door.
Yes, agree. It's a big one! It is not just women, though. Yesterday, a male friend who read my essay told me he was moved and wondered if he could "put himself and his feelings out there" similarly. That was an interesting insight for me.
First a big hug! All of us who have gone from being thin to becoming “healthy” have faced some kind of body shaming. I love it that you have written abt it. Good for you! Btw I think you look fab in the photograph Mukta.
Thank you Shital! I find that being honest about these feelings gives me a lot of peace and clarity. It helps also that others, like you, resonate or connect in some way. Cheers!
Terrors, resolutions, and breakdowns in/aided by changing rooms can be a crowd sourced anthology ! Thanks for writing this Mukta -- it was soft and soothing to follow - a rare feat in writing about the body!
Buying jeans/pants is such a stressful activity for me. If and when I find a pair that fit well its almost as if I have conquered the world and am heading off to a happy ever after.
Your essay brought back so many uncomfortable memories! I was body shamed throughout my childhood and young adult years - all apparently in good humour. I internalised it and thought I had found a way to cope. But it never really goes away does it? It creeps up when you least expect it, showing its terrible claws and snarling with its terrible teeth. I may not be able to fight and win. But my daughter will grow up loving her body and herself - just the way she is. Thank you for sharing this beautiful essay.
I too harbour this hope for the next gen but as a mother of a teen girl, I see the pressures that social media exerts. We may stop with the body shaming but we can’t protect them from a world with ridiculous beauty standards. Our values are vital nevertheless in offering kids a modicum of protection and a toehold to regain their dignity and balance when they are under attack
Your daughter is lucky to have you Mukta! Cheers to more mother's like you who to teach their daughters to differentiate and fight for their agency freedom.
Always so good to read what you write. Quite apart from the sheer torment of trying on innumerable garments in changing rooms where the air conditioning is totally ineffective, I also suffered foot shame for all of my life. I have exceptionally broad feet, and getting dainty footwear that fit my feet was impossible. I remain grateful to my feet for having served me well, though now they aren't as cooperative, but I do wish that we had a greater range of foot widths too!
My mirror at home is much kinder to me than those monster mirrors in the changing rooms.
Your compliments are special Dipali...thank you! Your blog on mirrors rings true....and feeling inadequate seems to be as universal a human condition as sorrow or fear. We all have to fight our personal battles here, but talking about it makes it a more shared, and therefore a tad easier, experience.
I loved reading this. I wonder if body shame never leaves/ or is always entering us and we have to be constantly (and exhaustingly) vigilant about evicting it. I’m hopeful the next generation of women finally kick it out of the door.
Yes, agree. It's a big one! It is not just women, though. Yesterday, a male friend who read my essay told me he was moved and wondered if he could "put himself and his feelings out there" similarly. That was an interesting insight for me.
Excellent reminder! Thanks!
First a big hug! All of us who have gone from being thin to becoming “healthy” have faced some kind of body shaming. I love it that you have written abt it. Good for you! Btw I think you look fab in the photograph Mukta.
Thank you Shital! I find that being honest about these feelings gives me a lot of peace and clarity. It helps also that others, like you, resonate or connect in some way. Cheers!
Terrors, resolutions, and breakdowns in/aided by changing rooms can be a crowd sourced anthology ! Thanks for writing this Mukta -- it was soft and soothing to follow - a rare feat in writing about the body!
Thank you for reading and for the kind words! Crowd-sourced anthology on cooing with body shame is much-needed...
This one hit so close home and you write so well.
Buying jeans/pants is such a stressful activity for me. If and when I find a pair that fit well its almost as if I have conquered the world and am heading off to a happy ever after.
That indeed is a great feeling! Thanks for reading and empathising :)
Your essay brought back so many uncomfortable memories! I was body shamed throughout my childhood and young adult years - all apparently in good humour. I internalised it and thought I had found a way to cope. But it never really goes away does it? It creeps up when you least expect it, showing its terrible claws and snarling with its terrible teeth. I may not be able to fight and win. But my daughter will grow up loving her body and herself - just the way she is. Thank you for sharing this beautiful essay.
I too harbour this hope for the next gen but as a mother of a teen girl, I see the pressures that social media exerts. We may stop with the body shaming but we can’t protect them from a world with ridiculous beauty standards. Our values are vital nevertheless in offering kids a modicum of protection and a toehold to regain their dignity and balance when they are under attack
Your daughter is lucky to have you Mukta! Cheers to more mother's like you who to teach their daughters to differentiate and fight for their agency freedom.
Always so good to read what you write. Quite apart from the sheer torment of trying on innumerable garments in changing rooms where the air conditioning is totally ineffective, I also suffered foot shame for all of my life. I have exceptionally broad feet, and getting dainty footwear that fit my feet was impossible. I remain grateful to my feet for having served me well, though now they aren't as cooperative, but I do wish that we had a greater range of foot widths too!
My mirror at home is much kinder to me than those monster mirrors in the changing rooms.
Blogged about this a lifetime ago: https://dipalitaneja.blogspot.com/2007/09/trial-rooms.html?m=1
Your compliments are special Dipali...thank you! Your blog on mirrors rings true....and feeling inadequate seems to be as universal a human condition as sorrow or fear. We all have to fight our personal battles here, but talking about it makes it a more shared, and therefore a tad easier, experience.